Adoption Journal Part V

Our newborn baby

“The Beginning of A New Life”

After all the stress of the birthfather, his mother and his aunt showing up at the hospital, the agency and hospital staff arranged to move Felicia to a different room so he couldn’t just show up again. The hospital security was also made aware of everything. It was all crazy and unexpected. Felicia was upset by his attitude toward the adoption and tearfully apologized to us. She had thought meeting us would give him some peace of mind. Of course, we hugged her and certainly didn’t blame her for the birthfather’s actions. Then we went to Chili’s to get her and her friend a fajita because the hospital food wasn’t good that night.

At 7 p.m. (just a little longer than the required 24 hour Utah waiting period) Felicia was ready to sign the adoption paperwork. We were back from our food run and waiting outside her room with some agency workers. Our caseworker asked us how we were doing. I told her we felt good. Felicia is strong. I knew she wouldn't change her mind. She is a rock. A few minutes later, the agency workers told us she had signed. With her signature and her amazing sacrifice, Zachary became our baby. We couldn't take him home, but he was ours. The seemingly endless searching for our baby was finally over. The crushing pain of our childlessness was washed away. The waiting for him to come home would be just a few more days.

After all the commotion on Wednesday, Felicia decided she didn’t want to have any more visitors except her immediate family and the two of us. So for the next two days we came to the hospital and watched “The Simpsons” and “Everybody Loves Raymond” in Felicia and Zachary’s hospital room. We took turns holding and feeding him, changing him, reading books to him and taking lots of pictures. Nurses came in and out what felt like every hour. It didn’t ever feel strange to hang out together. The only problem we had in those two days was dealing with the hospital social worker. She was awful, demanding and unpleasant to talk to. I don’t know why she is assigned to assist with adoptions, because she was anything but helpful. Fortunately we had the staff at A Guardian Angel to really help us.

Saturday, December 20th, came (the day we would go home) and we were as well rested as any soon-to-be new parents can be. We knew Felicia’s mom had spent that night at the hospital so we decided to head over after we ate some lunch. On our way to the hospital Felicia asked us to please bring her a Big Mac meal from McDonald’s. She had been craving it and the hospital lunch wasn’t a very good one.
Honestly I don’t remember many other details about Saturday. I was terrible at writing in my journal during the hospital stay. I remember everything was blanketed in cold white snow. I also know we were more excited than ever to take our baby home and actually get to see him 24/7 and just in time for Christmas. We also wondered how Felicia would handle placement day and how much she would be hurting when she went home empty-handed. One step of it was over; she had already signed, but placing her baby in our arms to never parent him herself…we knew it would be an emotional goodbye. We felt very privileged to have spent four days in the hospital with her and Zachary. We watched as she memorized his beautiful face. Watched as she kissed him and read him stories. There is no doubt she loves him. We will be able to tell him everyday why she chose to place him in our family.

The hospital was ready to release Felicia and Zachary around 5 p.m. We had helped Felicia’s mom pack up a lot of stuff earlier so the room was already beginning to look sterile again. We were in Felicia’s room talking with her and her mom and brother when Kim, an agency director arrived and asked us to step out of the room to let them say their private goodbyes to Zachary. We talked with Kim in the hallway for a while and she told us she adopted two children. We told her a little about our experience so far, too and about our open relationship with Felicia and her family. After nobody came out of Felicia’s room for a while, Kim decides to check if they are ready for us to come back. They’re ready so we go in and see that they aren’t crying. Like I said, Felicia is a rock. She tenderly hands Zachary to Ron and tells us, “I’m so glad I know you’ll be good parents.” Then the floods came to my eyes and to Ron’s (and Kim’s). Our hearts were breaking into a million pieces for Zachary’s birthfamily. We know just how much Felicia and her family love our little boy. They love him so much! We will never forget that. Being on the receiving end of such a gift is nothing short of the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to us. A gift we cherish every single day.

Our 8 month old baby

Coming soon…Adoption Part VI, the very last part of Zachary’s Adoption Journal...our journey to a Forever Family.