Adoption Journal Part VI

After loading Zachary in his new dinosaur print car seat the nurse escorted us downstairs to the exit of the hospital. Seeing how cold and snowy it was outside, Ron got the car and pulled it up to the curb. Kim, the agency director was also still with us and saw us to our car. She told us goodbye and good luck and then she left. It was the first time we were alone as a family. We had a tangle of thoughts and emotions happening simultaneously. Having seen a lot of action movies I wondered what would happen if the birthfather popped-out from behind a bush in the hospital parking lot. He had already dispelled any thought that he might be ok with the adoption. We also felt excited to finally be a family! We loaded Zachary in the car as carefully as possible. We checked and re-checked that everything was buckled correctly and secure. We smiled at each other and headed toward home. We called and texted our immediate family members. A few family members were also waiting for us when we arrived home. Everyone was anxious to meet our new family member.
We too were excited to get to know our new family member and we marveled at every milestone. We saw Felicia and her family at least every month and sent picture messages and videos frequently. Ron and I also spoke with an attorney so we could make sure the adoption could be finalized as soon as possible. We knew it would be at least six months from the day we brought him home, so we hoped and hoped we could finalize in June. We finally received a letter from our attorney and the court date was set for July 16. Zachary would be exactly seven months old.
We continued to pray for Felicia and her family and we also prayed for the birthfather and his family. We really hoped he would be able to have some peace about the adoption and to let us be a family. Some of the agency caseworkers had told us they thought maybe the birthfather didn’t know how to express his emotions. Other caseworkers thought his aunt was pressuring him to intervene. Ron thought maybe he was just trying to scare us away from the adoption. I didn’t really know what to think. I hoped we wouldn’t ever have to see him again. I realized first impressions really do matter.
Around mid-April we received a text message from Felicia. She asked us when we were blessing Zachary (we had invited her and her family). We told her July 18 and said we’d be sending an invitation to her when it was closer. Then she said she was friends with the birthfather again and he’d really like to apologize for the things he said at the hospital. She also asked if he could come to the blessing, but said she understood if we said no. I was surprised she was so forgiving of him to be friends again; after all he hadn’t been supportive at all during her pregnancy. Then he showed up last minute at the hospital to oppose the adoption. After that he disappeared again for nearly five months and now wants to apologize for what he said. I cannot begin to understand the mind of an 18 year old boy, so Ron and I discussed all our thoughts and opinions completely before we felt we could answer Felcia’s text message. We told her we wholeheartedly accepted his apology, but didn’t feel that Zachary’s blessing was an appropriate time to have another face-to-face meeting with the birthfather. We said we weren’t ready to meet him again and we’d let her know when we felt comfortable with the idea.
I felt bad about being vague on when we would want to meet the birthfather again, but I was positive we weren’t ready. For the past five months I had been wondering if he was going to contest the adoption and how I was going to handle it. I hadn’t once thought he would ever apologize. I would definitely call it a miracle.
As July came closer we became worried about finalization for a reason that had nothing to do with the birthfather. A few months before Zachary was born, a relative of mine adopted a baby too. Unfortunately the finalization of their son’s adoption was delayed an entire month because of some fingerprinting and FBI background checks their judge decided they needed! Well we hadn’t done these things either because it was something new and shouldn’t effect our adoption…but….we worried we could be delayed too if the judge decided it. We contacted our attorney and our adoption agency and they suggested we have the fingerprinting done, but there was not enough time left for the FBI background check. We would keep the info in a separate folder and unless the judge asked for it, we wouldn’t bring it up.
July 16th arrived and we made our way to the courthouse, hoping to complete this necessary step to becoming a family. I was nervous, but the confidence of our attorney and the agency caseworker helped ease my mind. The court reporter and sheriff were also quite entertaining. We even watched a funny video on the court reporters computer while we waited for the judge to arrive. It was all usual for them, but it was very unusual for me. It was weird to sit in a court room. It made me kind of sick to my stomach. But they all thought Zachary was adorable, of course. As soon as the judge came in the proceedings began. Our attorney questioned the agency caseworker. The judge asked some questions. Then our attorney asked each of us questions too. Before we knew it, Zachary was ours “as if born to us.” A perfect day and no delays at all.
The next day family members began arriving to participate in a day we had been looking forward to since we first decided we would adopt. Saturday came and we were so excited to finally take our baby to the temple! They really aren’t adequate words to describe what a feeling it was to see Zachary in the temple and have him sealed to us forever. What an amazing experience! I wish every parent could have that experience. I had wondered how Zachary would behave and he was such a good boy. I know he was tired, but he hardly made a peep. As he was sealed to us the tears quickly came and I couldn’t, nor did I want to hold them back. The sealer soon recognized that this baby was surely a miracle. After the sealing I held Zachary tight and never wanted to let go. He was so cute and just let me hold him and squeeze him.
After the temple and pictures we met everyone at our church and Ron gave Zachary a beautiful blessing. Felicia had come, along with her mom, brother and her best-friend. It was great to see them again and we all had a wonderful time.
Hope you enjoy our slide-show of photos from the temple taken by Mrs. R (thanks again Lindsey and Kim, too, who made the arrangements).