Adoption Journal Part IV

“Zachary Jesse Enters the World”

Finding out we had two months until our baby boy was due was amazing! We were so glad we already had everything ready so we could just soak it all in. November 11, 2008, our caseworker calls again. Felicia wants to talk to us in one hour. I didn’t think I’d be as nervous, but I was just as nervous as the last time when we met. One hour seems like so much longer when you have butterflies in your stomach! Well, we had another good conversation on the phone. We had talked about names a little bit when we went out to dinner so she asked us if we picked one. She had told us she likes the name Jesse. When we got home we looked up the name and it was perfect. Zachary means “God has remembered” and Jesse means “gift.” She liked the name, too, and we had another good phone call talking about baby stuff and other things. After our call our caseworker tells us she thought it went well and that Felicia feels peace about choosing us. She also feels like we were meant to be chosen. We’re so excited! I also asked our caseworker to find out what day Felicia went to Guardian Angel. It turns out it was September 24, the same day I felt strongly that we should not apply at the agency in Texas and decided to give Guardian Angel another chance. Boy, am I glad we followed that prompting!

For fun we ask our blogging friends when they think our baby will arrive. His due date is December 22. I have a dream about a baby boy and he's perfect. I couldn’t be more excited for our baby boy to come.
Thanksgiving 2008 comes and we visit family out-of-town and take one last vacation before becoming parents. While we’re in Newport, CA. we get another call from our caseworker. At Felicia’s last doctors appointment they find out the baby is a footling breech (coming feet first). It’s not likely he’ll turn this late in the pregnancy so probably she’ll have to have him c-section. We look forward to our next dinner appointment with Felicia and her mom. We also still don’t know if she wants us to be at the hospital or not, so we’re hoping she’ll invite us.
December 8th, Ron gets a call on his cell phone from our caseworker. She says Felicia wants to talk to us and that’s all she really says. Ron hangs up and is slightly confused when he tells me she wants to talk to us. We wonder, Why? Is something wrong? A few seconds go by and our caseworker calls right back. She says, “Don’t worry, it’s a good call.” Glad that she sensed our anxiety, we say ok and wait for Felicia’s call. Felicia does call and is excited to tell us her doctor scheduled a c-section…we’re having a baby boy December 16th!!! She tells us she and her mom bought him some little clothes to play dress-up at the hospital. She also invites us to be at the hospital, too! We’re so excited – beyond words! We can’t wait to meet our little boy and see what he looks like!December 10th, our caseworker calls again. She tells us the birthfather has been calling Felicia for the past week or so. She also tells us he’s going to sign before a notary the next day. I become nervous instantly. I don’t really want to meet him, but he and his mom are going to be at the hospital now, too.
Tuesday, December 16th is here! We’re supposed to meet at the hospital in the afternoon. On our way over we pick up more flowers. When we arrive at the hospital we notice it’s just Felicia, her mom, dad and brother (also her caseworker and our caseworker). We’re so relieved it’s all people we have come to love and admire. We help Felicia’s mom get ready, took a few funny photos and then they wheeled Felicia down the hall for surgery. While waiting, Felicia’s dad was so nice to us and so sweet. He told us how proud he was of his daughter for choosing adoption and how happy he was that we’re a nice couple. He also told us to call him if we ever need anything. His kindness didn’t surprise us because we’d already met his wonderful daughter, but it did amaze us.
After about an hour or so we see a nurse in the hall. She has a perma-grin on her face. She says, “He’s perfect!” and tells us he’s 7 lbs. 3 oz. and 19.5 inches long. We send text messages to all our family telling them he’s born! Not long after that Felicia and her mom return to the hospital room holding the most beautiful baby boy in the world. At one point Felicia told us she’d been calling him Zachary ever since we told her his name. Everyone was taking pictures and passing Zachary around. Felicia grinned and told him, “You’re the most loved baby ever.” We couldn't agree more.

We got to spend the rest of the day following the baby around in his tiny hospital crib-on-wheels. We followed him to the nursery and spent some time there watching him and taking only cell phone pictures because we’d left our camera in the hospital room. It was getting late so after his first bath we headed for home so Felicia could get some rest. The next day we planned on stopping by the hospital just for a short time. Felicia had invited a few of her friends to visit her and Zachary, so we wanted to give them that time together. Heading home from our short visit and only about one mile to go, we get a call from our caseworker. She tells us the birthfather showed up un-invited and wants to meet us. We turned the car around and headed straight back. When we arrive we find out he stepped out for a minute so, nervously, we hang out and wait for him to return. In the meantime, Felicia’s caseworker picks up Zachary and says, “He feels a little wet, would one of you change him?” Understatement of the century! As she begins to hand him over to Ron and me for a new diaper, she realizes his diaper was completely blown-out. I have never seen so much baby poop in my life! It was all over her shirt, all over his blanket, on his socks, all over himself. I sarcastically said, “Where is he (the birthfather) now?” That blow-out took four people to clean it up. Thankfully the hospital had a sink right there or else we might have used a whole package of wipes!
As Ron was dressing Zachary in a new outfit, the birthfather comes back in and asks to speak to us in the hall, alone. He tells us (among other things I won’t mention) that he’s going to get the best lawyer so he can get “his” baby back. Ron told him that actually Zachary is Felicia’s baby and she’s going to do what she feels is best for him. During all of this, I noticed another agency caseworker was listening to our conversation while pretending to talk on her cell phone. Finally after telling us a bunch of stressful things, he leaves. The caseworker who overheard tells us we did well at staying calm. We sure didn’t feel calm later, though. We end up talking with some of the caseworkers and the agency lawyer for a while. The lawyer basically tells us we don’t have anything to worry about, but we worry anyway. After all we’ve been through to find our baby we don’t want to have a legal battle to stress over too. I also worry about the cost of a legal battle, both emotionally and financially. In my mind I determined if it came to it…if I had to fight for him…if I had to sell my house…I would do it. Possesions would never come before my baby. I would fight for him if I had to sell everything I own.

Part V, coming soon...