I dreamed about our baby last night.
I wish I could say it was a good dream, but it wasn't exactly a bad dream either.
I'll call it a stress dream.
For some reason I'm stressed.
It's like getting engaged and having that dream about tripping on your wedding dress in front of everyone. Or like when I was late getting to the temple (long story) and Ron was worried I wasn't going to show up so he was pacing back and forth in the waiting area.
This adoption is the biggest life-changing event since we were married and, as excited as we are, we're both greenies. We've never experienced this before and we want more than anything to have a good experience.
So on to my little dream.
Our baby's birth-grandmother was holding him.
As she was handing him to me we both dropped him a little.
But we caught him before anything bad happened.
He was the most beautiful, perfect baby boy I've ever seen.
And that's all I remember.
I'm so excited to give him everything we've always wanted to give our child.
And meeting him in December will fulfill the sweetest dream I've ever had.
You will be a wonderful mother, I still worry about being a good mom. I can't tell you how excited I am for you, there is nothing better than a newborn baby. Have a wonderful day.
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the picture you added to this entry, I was thinking you'd had some horrible San Francisco Zoo Tiger Incident nightmare. See, what Ron didn't tell you is what he was saying while he was pacing: "Left, right, left, right, left, lef- OW! Nuts! Not again! I'm gonna impale myself on a candlestick if I do that down the aisle! Man, that hurts...it's going to leave a mark, I'm just sure of it...Okay, here we go again: Left, right, left, right, l-righ OW OW OW! You know, if she'd just get here, I wouldn't have to worry about passing out during the ceremony from loss of blood. The limp from the multiple bruisings isn't going to look very good, either. *groan* If she doesn't get here soon, I'll have to paint my suit blue and black to match the bruises....owwww...."
ReplyDeleteBet he never mentioned doing that, either.
Baby stress dreams are normal. They're part of the body's prep work for the accurate and necessary level of paranoia required to raise children. Don't worry about it. Just whack Ron with a wet dishrag whenever you get stressed out. It's similar to getting an earworm (songs that stick in your head all day)- the only way to get rid of 'em is to transfer the misery to someone else. By the way, it'll sting more if you freeze the dishrag before you whack 'im with it. If nothing else, he deserves it for not stopping tbone from telling me about this blog of yours. Hee hee hee.
It is scary thinking about having a sweet new life that is completely dependent on you for everything. I think it is that anticipation and "stress" that keeps us on our toes. I know that you will be a wonderful mother.
ReplyDeleteThat's nothing. I had TERRIBLE nightmares in the week's leading up to Gideon's arrival. They were so bad I would call my mother in tears. It was awful! And made me feel like I wasn't going to be a good mother at all. They were so disturbing, I'm not even going to tell you about them. You're going to do great. Don't sweat it.
ReplyDelete=) Sweet Jessica, sign of a true mom already. Having wild dreams.
ReplyDeleteI remember the first night I brought Alyson home she was in bed with my mom and I woke up shaking out my sheets and freaking out that she was gone. She wild dreams even before she was born.
I would just take this as you already care about him so much you don't want him to be hurt. So many emotions and so much excitement to be felt. Hard to process it and put it in the right cabinet. Easier said then done but , Soak It ALL in!! I am excited for each person that adopts but sincerely THRILLED for you guys. Well deserved.
It will be interesting to sit down and do a time line with the birth mom and compare what was happening at different times. I did it with Mike and Elisa and it was a miracle.
I understand these feelings. Having a baby does change everything...but for the better. It is nerve wracking and life will never be the same...but it is the sweetest dream come true. I can't wait to meet the little dude.
ReplyDelete:-)
ReplyDeleteYou're so wonderful, Jessica.
You guys have waited so long, and then all of a sudden you hear you're having a little boy in 2 months and wow!
I'm sure you're going to get your sweet little guy home and then wonder, "now what do I do?" At least, that's what happened to me. But your maternal instincts will kick in and you'll know! Feed him! Hug him! Give him to Ron to change his diaper!
So Yay Yay YAY! I'm so excited. I can't imagine how excited you must me.
So for some reason I can't comment on the new post (it keeps coming up with an error), so here I am on the last post.
ReplyDeleteI am so excited! That is awesome! I don't know why we get so nervous to talk on the phone with potential birth mothers. I get the same way. Then.... I ramble. I bet you guys did great!
You are still in our thoughts and prayers! Much Love!!
I'm STILL stressing and I'm waiting for our FOURTH baby! It is major. It is life changing. If you weren't stressing I'd be worried about you! Adoption is just set up in a way to keep the adoptive parents freaking out up to the very last second. Did you know that I threw up the entire night before our first meeting with our birthmother. Lovely. I'll take dreams over barf thank-you-very-much!
ReplyDeleteIt's almost here!!! Can't wait!