Shock, Jubliation and Everything In-Between

(I sincerely hope this doesn't cause anyone searching for their baby any pain. I understand if it does - afterall it took us two years to find our little ZJ.

Just remember, nothing is certain about this baby actually coming to our family...) 

 We're adopting another baby!!!

No, we haven't applied to adopt again yet. Haven't filled out the mounds of paperwork or jumped thru any hoops yet...we have four months to do that.

Here's the story:

In December, I wrote an update with pictures and a Christmas present to Lexi's birthmother. Since she lives out-of-state I sent it to her DHL so she'd get it in time for the holidays. I also figured she may not have our cell phone number anymore and included it with the package. I wasn't expecting to hear from her, but I wanted her to be able to contact us if she wished.

Fast forward to Tuesday of last week, Ron was on a break and visiting us upstairs (he works from home). I hear him answer the phone while I'm checking my email. I could hear he was talking to Lexi's birthmom and I was surprised, but glad she called. Ron talked with her for a few minutes until his break was over and then handed me the phone. We chatted a little bit and then she spilled the reason she was calling.

"I'm pregnant again" she said.

I waited - not sure what to say.

"I don't belive in abortion" she went on, "have you talked about adopting again?"

For the past year we've talked about being done, but I didn't want to tell her that. Part of the reason was we didn't want to go thru the whole adoption process again from the beginning. It's very stressful and difficult to go thru the matching part. The waiting is not fun at all. There are lots of risks and I figured with two practically perfect adoptions it would have to be our turn for something to go wrong.

That sounds so cynical, but really I think we just wanted to have control over something.

For example: we couldn't control when or how our children came, but we COULD have control over NOT having anymore. (Or so we thought).

We also wanted to protect ourselves, our hearts and our two kids. The easiest way to do that was to be done.

When she called, a lot of that changed.

We don't want to buy a minivan or anything yet, but we are willing to take one more risk.

One more chance at a brother or sister.

One more time thru the adoption jungle.

One more trip to Texas!

Three kids, three and a half and under - ready or not - here we come!