Don't you hate when somebody asks you a question and you respond, but your response is lame? And then later on you think of a great response, but it's too late to use it.
The other day I was at church and a neighbor approached me and asked, "How long does it take them to get you a baby?" I responded with something about how it's all based on the choices that other people make. Then he said something about how that's too bad because we'd make such good parents. Then the conversation ended and he wandered off.
Here's what I should have said: "Actually, LDS Family Services is not trying to find us a baby. That's why we need your help." Then I could have given him a card and told him some of the ways he too could be an adoption advocate.
That's right. I said LDSFS is not trying to find us a baby. When it comes right down to it, we're just another service they offer, like counseling and group therapy. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against LDS Family Services, its just that with many people, when I tell them we're trying to adopt, their thoughts read something like this. "That's great. Share the news with me when you get a baby." I just don't think most of our supporters out there really understand what we're facing here.
You see, at LDSFS their mission is to find out who the unwed mothers are, and make sure they get the counseling they need and to help them make an informed decision about their options. That's what we are, an option. So are 1,000 other couples. (That's just in Utah)
That's why we need your help.
When someone comes into LDS family services and says, "I think I might place my baby for adoption. Show me some families.", the case worker will enter some of her preferences into a computer system and that computer will match those preferences and tell the worker which profiles to show her. (I know she'd love to just yell, "Here. Look at Ron and Jessica. They're your only choice!!!!" but she can't.) Try it sometime. Go to It's About Love and try the most specific search you can think of to find us. See how many choices come up? How many of those will you look at before you get bored?
That's what we're up against. Could LDS Family Services find our baby? Yes. Could the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42 be winning lottery numbers? Possibly.
So here's how you can help.
If you know an unwed mother-to-be, tell her about adoption and especially, Tell her about US!
If you know somebody who might come in contact with unwed mothers-to-be, tell them about adoption and especially tell her about us.
In fact, tell everyone you know that we're trying to adopt. Tell them that if they know someone who is pregnant and might consider placing the baby for adoption she can find out more information about us at http://www.parentprofiles.com/ron-jessica or at http://itsaboutlove.org/profiles by typing RonandJessica in the search field.
We also have some adoption pass-along cards with that information as well as a toll-free number direct to us. Let me know if you'd like a couple to keep with you.
Thank you for reading our blog and sharing this journey and thank you for your help.
The other day I was at church and a neighbor approached me and asked, "How long does it take them to get you a baby?" I responded with something about how it's all based on the choices that other people make. Then he said something about how that's too bad because we'd make such good parents. Then the conversation ended and he wandered off.
Here's what I should have said: "Actually, LDS Family Services is not trying to find us a baby. That's why we need your help." Then I could have given him a card and told him some of the ways he too could be an adoption advocate.
That's right. I said LDSFS is not trying to find us a baby. When it comes right down to it, we're just another service they offer, like counseling and group therapy. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against LDS Family Services, its just that with many people, when I tell them we're trying to adopt, their thoughts read something like this. "That's great. Share the news with me when you get a baby." I just don't think most of our supporters out there really understand what we're facing here.
You see, at LDSFS their mission is to find out who the unwed mothers are, and make sure they get the counseling they need and to help them make an informed decision about their options. That's what we are, an option. So are 1,000 other couples. (That's just in Utah)
That's why we need your help.
When someone comes into LDS family services and says, "I think I might place my baby for adoption. Show me some families.", the case worker will enter some of her preferences into a computer system and that computer will match those preferences and tell the worker which profiles to show her. (I know she'd love to just yell, "Here. Look at Ron and Jessica. They're your only choice!!!!" but she can't.) Try it sometime. Go to It's About Love and try the most specific search you can think of to find us. See how many choices come up? How many of those will you look at before you get bored?
That's what we're up against. Could LDS Family Services find our baby? Yes. Could the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42 be winning lottery numbers? Possibly.
So here's how you can help.
If you know an unwed mother-to-be, tell her about adoption and especially, Tell her about US!
If you know somebody who might come in contact with unwed mothers-to-be, tell them about adoption and especially tell her about us.
In fact, tell everyone you know that we're trying to adopt. Tell them that if they know someone who is pregnant and might consider placing the baby for adoption she can find out more information about us at http://www.parentprofiles.com/ron-jessica or at http://itsaboutlove.org/profiles by typing RonandJessica in the search field.
We also have some adoption pass-along cards with that information as well as a toll-free number direct to us. Let me know if you'd like a couple to keep with you.
Thank you for reading our blog and sharing this journey and thank you for your help.
We totally had an experience like that on Sunday with a family friend from SLC (who knows a lot more people than we do!). After we walked away, we were wondering how that conversation went the way it did when we are trying so hard to get the word out there that we are adopting and that we need help. So we re-evaluated and discussed and came up with an awesome answer and are ready for the next time we have this experience. Funny that you posted this! :)
ReplyDeleteWe are trying to get our pass along cards made. I was totally dragging my feet on this and i have no idea why. But we need to exchange pass along cards! Maybe when we come up for the Adoption Conference next month! :)
I think I just learned more about the adoption process in 2 minutes reading through that, than in many years of know about LDSFS. That was very informative - Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI'll be sure and pass your name onto anyone I meet who might be in a situation where they would be considering giving a child up for adoption...
And I would have to agree with your neighbor, you guys would make awesome parents - hence the reason I would have absolutely no hesitation in passing your name along!