My favorite quote soon became "it is what it is."
So much of adoption is frustrating. Adoption situations that are so expensive you wouldn't even believe me if I told you! People adopting multiple babies before we even adopted Zachary!
It's enough to make anyone go mad with "what ifs?" and "whys?".
And yet, I'm glad we had to wait so long for our first baby. It was so long and terrible, but it really does make me appreciate him more. Now that he's hit the "terrible two" it's even more obvious to me why we waited and waited and waited. Patience is still not one of my strengths. But when I think of all we went thru for Zachary and everything his birthmother sacrificed for him; it's a lot harder to be frustrated with his behavior. (Still, adoption doesn't change the fact that being a mother is hard work!)
It was also hard for us to be at the beggining of another unknown journey. Around April I wrote in my journal some of the questions I was thinking about.
"Where will our baby come from?"
"When will our baby come?"
"Will there be a lot of bumps along the road?"
"Will it be a quiet journey filled with tears?"
"What will our baby look like?"
"Will we fit well with our baby's birthfamily?"
"What about Zachary, how will he be?"
Yes, I felt thankful for Ron and Zachary, but I still didn't know what was going to happen and that was scary.
(Oh what I would have given to know that our baby was coming in nine months!)
Also in April another possible adoption situation came up through someone my stepdad knew from work. It was a six month old baby girl being raised by her grandma.
It's one of the parts of adoption I don't like - getting my hopes up only to be crushed again.
Nothing happened with this situation for us. This happened time and time again on our first journey and I wanted to kick myself everytime I got my hopes up this time. I kept telling myself that none of these situations happened for us last time - it's not going to happen this time either. But there is always the "what if".
What if it DOES happen! Then I'd be mad at myself for not being excited.
Around June, our homestudy was almost approved, and I began looking for an adoption agency we could afford. Unfortunately we couldn't afford to go with A Guardian Angel again. I checked a few forums and read good things about Heart and Soul, so I considered applying. Looking at agencies is stressful, but I knew we needed to find our baby. I knew LDSFS wasn't going to find our baby for us.
July 4th, we were finally approved! Yes, it was a holiday, but our caseworker just loves us that much.
After our approval, I really started counting the days AND even worse, counting the days our children would be apart. Oh how I wanted them to be close in age! I wanted them to be friends. I wanted them to have each other when Ron and I are gone. All things we don't have control over!
July 8th, Ron sent the following email to all our friends and family (we paid $1 to make our link shorter, ask Ron if you want to know how):
We're excited we're approved* to adopt again!
*unfortunately this does not yet mean we ARE adopting again, it simply means we're eligible again.
Please share our information with your friends and family and help spread the word.
Our profile on "its about love" website:
http://ronandjessica.info/
(our site is down now)
Adoption Part 3 coming soon...
So much of adoption is frustrating. Adoption situations that are so expensive you wouldn't even believe me if I told you! People adopting multiple babies before we even adopted Zachary!
It's enough to make anyone go mad with "what ifs?" and "whys?".
And yet, I'm glad we had to wait so long for our first baby. It was so long and terrible, but it really does make me appreciate him more. Now that he's hit the "terrible two" it's even more obvious to me why we waited and waited and waited. Patience is still not one of my strengths. But when I think of all we went thru for Zachary and everything his birthmother sacrificed for him; it's a lot harder to be frustrated with his behavior. (Still, adoption doesn't change the fact that being a mother is hard work!)
It was also hard for us to be at the beggining of another unknown journey. Around April I wrote in my journal some of the questions I was thinking about.
"Where will our baby come from?"
"When will our baby come?"
"Will there be a lot of bumps along the road?"
"Will it be a quiet journey filled with tears?"
"What will our baby look like?"
"Will we fit well with our baby's birthfamily?"
"What about Zachary, how will he be?"
Yes, I felt thankful for Ron and Zachary, but I still didn't know what was going to happen and that was scary.
(Oh what I would have given to know that our baby was coming in nine months!)
Also in April another possible adoption situation came up through someone my stepdad knew from work. It was a six month old baby girl being raised by her grandma.
It's one of the parts of adoption I don't like - getting my hopes up only to be crushed again.
Nothing happened with this situation for us. This happened time and time again on our first journey and I wanted to kick myself everytime I got my hopes up this time. I kept telling myself that none of these situations happened for us last time - it's not going to happen this time either. But there is always the "what if".
What if it DOES happen! Then I'd be mad at myself for not being excited.
Around June, our homestudy was almost approved, and I began looking for an adoption agency we could afford. Unfortunately we couldn't afford to go with A Guardian Angel again. I checked a few forums and read good things about Heart and Soul, so I considered applying. Looking at agencies is stressful, but I knew we needed to find our baby. I knew LDSFS wasn't going to find our baby for us.
July 4th, we were finally approved! Yes, it was a holiday, but our caseworker just loves us that much.
After our approval, I really started counting the days AND even worse, counting the days our children would be apart. Oh how I wanted them to be close in age! I wanted them to be friends. I wanted them to have each other when Ron and I are gone. All things we don't have control over!
July 8th, Ron sent the following email to all our friends and family (we paid $1 to make our link shorter, ask Ron if you want to know how):
We're excited we're approved* to adopt again!
*unfortunately this does not yet mean we ARE adopting again, it simply means we're eligible again.
Please share our information with your friends and family and help spread the word.
Our profile on "its about love" website:
http://ronandjessica.info/
(our site is down now)
Adoption Part 3 coming soon...
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