As you know, yesterday we were scheduled for a conference call with an expecting mother.
Things didn't go as planned, but went exactly as I hoped.
Let me try to explain.
Her coordinator called at 12:30 to say she was going to see this expecting mother for her doctors appointment. She said they would call us afterward.
The coordinator was nice, but I didn't feel excited at all.
Not at all.
I didn't even feel nervous.
No butterflies, no feeling like I was going to throw up.
In fact I felt like I didn't want to talk on the phone with them.
Nothing about it felt right.
Maybe it's hard to understand for those who haven't adopted, but when we heard about Zachary's birthmother I knew we were a good match for her. I knew we should show our profile. I felt really really differently than I did yesterday.
So I guess what I'm saying is I'm sorry to you.
Hopefully I didn't get anyone's hope up for us yet.
All I was trying to do was get a little excited for a baby boy who would never be ours.
He will find his family, but I know it's not my family.
I definitely understand that feeling.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kamie. I don't think a lot of people can understand how someone who wants a baby can say no like this, but it was just out of our control.
ReplyDeleteI get that, I really do.
ReplyDeleteIt makes total and perfect sense. Heavenly Father knows where that baby needs to end up - and what baby needs to end up with you. The Spirit is amazing.
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