Finding Faith in Trials

It's sometimes difficult to find faith in our trials.

Our burdens can become so heavy; unbearable at times.

It's easier to find faith when things happen quickly.

Like when an adoption comes together fast.

It's much harder when, despite our best efforts, nothing happens and we must hold on a little longer.

I've been thinking more about our potential adoption experience this week.

The truth is, we could have made choices that would have probably matched us with this expecting mother.

She most likely would have told us we could be the parents of her little soon-to-be-born boy.

What we don't know is what would have happened next.

Was it difficult to say, "No"?

You better believe it.

We WANT a baby!

But we knew in our hearts it wasn't to be.

We HAD to say "no," even though every natural instinct told us to say "yes."

It makes me think about Zachary's adoption.

If you read about it, you know that Felicia had narrowed her choice to two couples.

She spoke with each couple (us, obviously, and another couple who we don't know) on the phone.

She decided to choose the other couple.

We were seriously bummed.

We thought for sure she was going to pick us!

The weekend went by and we got an unexpected call from our caseworker.

The other family backed out.

Felicia chose us afterall.

So it makes me wonder more about what was going on with that other couple.

Did they FEEL it wasn't right?

Did they agonize about saying, "No" to a baby?

We will never know for sure, but my experience tells me it was very, very hard for them to keep on waiting for their turn to become parents.

It is NOT easy to wait.
It's not easy to hear the spirit whisper,
"Hold on a little longer"
or
"Peace, be still"
We want Him to calm the storm, but we know sometimes he calms the child.

For now, I am calm. I know He will help me.
He will help my family.
He will guide us to a brother or sister or He will guide a brother or sister to us.
A miracle has happened for us and it will happen again.

(ZJ, the Ladykiller)

And we will pray for our next miracle everyday until he or she comes.