Mother's Day

By Jessica

It's difficult to put into words the complete and utter misery I felt during the past two years.

The total loss of control of my family.

My sense of identity shattered.

The many tears.

I was living as a shell of myself.

I wondered, "Would I ever be a mother?"

My arms were empty and my heart was broken into a million tiny pieces.

I saw mothers who didn't want to be mothers.

Parents YELLING at their children in the grocery store.

I cried in my closet about the unfairness of it all.

Why couldn't I be a mother?

All those Mother's Days at church I wanted to hide.

I didn't want to stand to get a flower or a piece of cake.

I didn't want recognition for something I didn't know would ever happen.

I didn't know how much longer I could bear it all.

Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changed.

Everything!

We learned of a young girl who had decided not to give into the pressures she was facing to have an abortion.

She not only wanted her baby to have a life, but, in her own words, she wanted her baby "to have a better life by choosing adoption."

Her choice became the greatest gift we would ever receive when she placed her precious newborn baby boy in our open arms.

So this Mother's Day, when I receive my flower or my piece of cake, I will do it gladly.

Being the mother to this boy is part of the gift his birthmother wanted to give him.

I thank God for her everyday.

She's given me so much more than a baby; she's given me hope.

Our journey to adopt wasn't easy.

There were many twists along the way.

But it's made me a better person.

It's given me more empathy for others.

It's revived my spirit.

And this Mother's Day it's given me the greatest Joy!

“The Lord hath anointed me … to give … beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness” (Isaiah 61:1, 3).