-By Jessica
I was just looking back at posts and thinking of what I should post about today...
It's weird that Flag Day is this Saturday.
As much as I try to live in the present and not think about what might have been, it's difficult.
I see five year old children in our neighborhood and think to myself that we could have a five year old by now.
I imagine it's similar for parents who have lost children and I really sympathize.
Sometimes I can't help but think, if we had been able to have a child soon after we were married, our baby would be going into kindergarten!
Or if we had been able to have a baby when we decided to adopt, we would have a toddler running around the house.
Then the other day I was reading Alma 40:8; part of that verse reads:
"All is as one day with God, and time only is measured unto men."
I know He doesn't want us to compare ourselves with others...
I know my trials are different than another's trials and mine are meant to refine me.
But once in a while I imagine a child or children and a family of more than just two.
If we truly are "spiritual beings having an earthly experience,"
Doesn't it make sense that we would long for other spirits to join us?
I see how much Amelia and Ellie love being around you two. They are always talking about 'Jessica and Ron'. You are so very good with kids and so thoughtful of their feelings.
ReplyDeleteI love you guys. Your future children are going to be so blessed to have you. You treat each other so well and are always doing uplifting things. So this flag day we'll be especially mindful of you and how much you mean to us. We are so blessed to call you two best friends!
I have had all of these thoughts pop into my head so many times. Once you find your sweet baby and have him or her in your arms it will all be worth it, I promise!
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you...today and quite often. I love you guys, I hope you know that you are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I used to do the same thing ALL the time (even AFTER we adopted!) Until one day the thought popped into my brain...
ReplyDelete"there are no spirits in heaven that were meant to be yours that you won't receive..."
I realized that even though we could have had a child several years older than our oldest child, that that child didn't really exist. The one meant to be ours was right here in flesh and blood.
I hope you know that there might not necessarily be a lesson YOU need to learn in waiting. It may just be that...waiting. You are worthy parents right now. Who knows why there is such a wait for some (like my husband and I)
I do know that once our kids were here I was grateful that they came when they did and things have worked out perfectly FOR THEM in THEIR lives...it's almost like they came when things that needed to happen for their sake happened.
Wow, I think I'm rambling. I hope any of that made sense.
We are waiting, waiting, waiting ourselves (via foster care) and it's always a struggle. I keep thinking "is there something more I should be doing? are we going down the right path? should we not do this? and on and on and on....
Really, I never am 100% sure of things until they have happened and I can look back and see the path more clearly.