God's Promises

I've struggled to type this post into words. Hopefully it doesn't seem too jumbled. It's been difficult for me to post for a number of reasons. Here we go anyway...

The year 2007 was a tough one for Ron and I. We were struggling to understand. Struggling to find our baby. At times it felt like we were struggling to even breath. Infertility was taking a toll on many aspects of our lives. Family gatherings became painful to attend as we didn't want to feel any further stings - simple questions about our adoption - that to us were difficult. We didn't know what to do to make our adoption happen except keep putting ourselves out there - at the cost of seeming desperate.

Did we want to ask people to help us find our family?

No.

Did we need help?

Most definitely.

I guess 2007 was especially difficult, because by September of that year I secretly thought we'd find our baby. Afterall it was nine months earlier when we'd been approved to adopt (not counting the four months before that just to apply). I was naive. But I was beginning to realize how diffucult adoption really is...most people get pregnant and nine months later have a baby. In adoption that is not common at all. Adoption can take years! (Imagine being pregnant for years!) Surely it wouldn't take years for us, would it? I mean, Ron and I aren't frightening, but we are faithful. Faithful people should adopt faster right???

Near the end of September, Ron and I took a trip to the temple. We frequently did, but this time was different. This time a couple of spiritual things happened. On our way home from our visit, I asked Ron how he'd feel if we adopted a baby girl. I wasn't sure we'd be adopting a baby girl soon, but I was sure I still wanted to name her Emma. I felt God made a promise to me that we would have a daughter we could give this name to. I also felt confirmation from God that He is aware of us; individually and as a couple.


Well if 2007 was painful, 2008 was the worst. By September 2008, I felt more like Rachel than ever,"...give me children, or else I die." Thinking often of Oct. 2007 general conference, I wondered when God would remember me. 

(If I had done the math I would have realized that Rachel's promise did not come quickly after she said that...I believe it didn't come until her sister Leah had three more children!)

Well, as you all know, in Oct. 2008, we were matched and in December we adopted the most wonderful little boy. And our JOY was 100 times greater than our pain had ever been. I didn't forget about the promise, but I didn't think about it as often. I was just glad I was finally a mom!

Then, last year, as we began searching for another child to add to our family, I thought a few times about our baby Emma and wondered if we'd find her.

One day I was reading blogs and I came to an adoption must read:
Blessed and Re-blessed

The first time I read Jacob's story I was both touched and moved to action! There is no way to prove it, but Jacob probably saved my son's life. Zachary was born to climb. One day when he was just learning to stand he knocked his nighstand over on himself. He wasn't hurt because he had opened the top drawer and it slowed it down enough for me to run over and catch the falling nighstand. After reading Jacob's story I swiftly sent Ron to the hardware store to buy something to anchor Zachary's gigantic dresser to the wall. Zachary has since climbed that dresser multiple times and it hasn't budged. I hope sharing Jacob's story will help others into action too.

I continued to read her blog and was soon drawn into her search for her baby Emma. While our promises came to us in different ways, I felt myself smiling and nodding as I read her blog.

I read a few times here and there and near the end of last year I read this post about the fleeces. In November we'd had so many adoption situations come up we thought for sure we were going to be parents again right away. We had one adoption come so close we had packed up all the cute baby boy things just in case we needed to go to the hospital at a moments notice.

So in December, when we still didn't have our baby, I started thinking more about the fleeces. It's not that I didn't trust God's timing, I was just wondering more and more about His promise to me. Did He even promise me?

What happens next? Before I could even lay out my own fleeces, our little Lexi Emma was here.

Does He keep His promises?

"But with the passage of time, we encounter four of the most beautiful words in holy writ: “And God remembered Rachel” (Genesis 30:22)." - Spencer J. Condie

All you have to do is look at my two miracle children to see His miracles are abounding.

Then read four of the most beautiful words in my life:

And God remembered me.