Domestic Adoption
It's like jumping out of an airplane and then hanging onto the door with your fingernails.
Eventually you land, but you don't know your destination until you're there.
It's thrilling, scary, exciting and terrifying!
I heard for every child placed for adoption there are approximately 20 people hoping to adopt.
I don't know if that's accurate, but I do know there are an increasing number of people hoping to adopt and seemingly no increase in those wanting to place.
From an LDS perspective it's obvious Satan is destroying families. It's easy to destroy a family if it never exists in the first place.
HOWEVER, there are definitely babies being placed for adoption. I thought it might be helpful to discuss the different ways to adopt Domestically. Hopefully it will help someone hoping to adopt. I'm in no way an expert, but I have learned a few useful things. This is not meant to be all-inclusive or anything, just trying to help, even if it's just one person.
Agency Adoption: There are so many agencies available to help in your adoption. How do you choose the right one for you? I suggest you research it online, ask people if they've gone thru that agency and how they felt about it and then pray about it. It was incredibly difficult for me to choose an agency when we were hoping to become parents the first time. I've never prayed for anything more fervently in all my life than to find my son. We feel very fortunate to have not only been matched immediately after applying at A Guardian Angel, but also to have our baby home just two months later.
Wait times do vary from person to person and from agency to agency. It depends a lot on your preferences and also your budget, too. Most agency adoptions cost $20,000-$40,000. Many agencies have wonderful social workers to hold your hand thru the entire process. Prospective adoptive parents generally adopt within two years. LDS Family Services charges $4,000-$10,000 depending on your income. Waits range from a few weeks to a few years. In Utah there are more than 400 LDS couples waiting to adopt. There are more than 100 in Idaho. As you can imagine, wait times can be even longer in these states, especially if you are not willing to adopt out of state or if you aren't doing any networking.
Self Advertising/Networking: Can help you adopt more quickly. It can also potentially be very expensive in the long run. We know self advertising/networking can be very beneficial, just not for us (yet)! If I added up all the money we spent trying to find our little boy on our own I'm sure it would be in the thousands of dollars with no adoption resulting from our efforts. I'm posting about this to hopefully help you avoid a major pitfall. We were so sure our baby would come from our efforts in this area and we were wrong (ok with it, sure, but wrong all the same). There are multiple websites you can list your profile for a monthly fee. You will definitely hear from expectant parents, but unfortunately you will get scam emails too. Learn how to protect yourself and especially your heart. Some people scam for money and other scam for attention. Know the risks so you don't get hurt. You should also be willing to screen the expectant parents yourself. If you're not willing to do that, then this may not be a good option for you.
Private Adoption thru an Attorney: This can be less expensive than adopting thru an agency. It can also cost more depending on the adoption. Each adoption is unique. Some adoptions have medical expenses, birthparent living expenses, unknown birthfathers and other factors that cause the adoption to cost a lot more money. You can contact attorneys in your area to see if they help you find a match. Some have a lot of upfront fees. Others have less upfront. Know what you're getting into before you sign anything. If you are looking into private adoption here's a link to a blog post about private family adoption.
Foster Care: Truth be told, I know very little about foster care. Most of the time, it seems, the goal of foster care is to keep children with their biological family. When it is determined by a judge as not in the best interest of the child, then adoption is possible. Some biological families decide on their own to place children into adoptive homes. Many older children and children with special needs are legally available for adoption right now. I suggest you read this blog and check out the heart galleries on your own. You can google "foster care heart galleries." You may be amazed that your children are already waiting for you!
Facilitator/Referral/Resource Center: It is not legal in some states to adopt with the help of a facilitator. However, in California, for example, this may be an option to consider. A facilitator generally does advertising and screening of expectant parents. Some provide other services and some do not. Most will help rematch you if your adoption falls thru. The same cannot be said for self-advertising. They can help match you more quickly and many times on a smaller budget. Again, do your research and ask people in the adoption forums. I recommend avoiding a facilitator who charges large upfront fees or who seem unethical.
For many, adoption seems impossible. From an LDS perspective I think Satan wants it to seem that way. Adoption can be expensive, but think about this --- You are asking someone to make a huge sacrifice for you to adopt their child...what are you willing to sacrifice to find your children? I have never once regretted that my son's adoption was expensive. Not once.
On the right side bar I've added some links to some facilitators/agencies/others who post available adoption situations. Hopefully, if you're looking for your baby, you'll be able to find each other soon!
Wait times do vary from person to person and from agency to agency. It depends a lot on your preferences and also your budget, too. Most agency adoptions cost $20,000-$40,000. Many agencies have wonderful social workers to hold your hand thru the entire process. Prospective adoptive parents generally adopt within two years. LDS Family Services charges $4,000-$10,000 depending on your income. Waits range from a few weeks to a few years. In Utah there are more than 400 LDS couples waiting to adopt. There are more than 100 in Idaho. As you can imagine, wait times can be even longer in these states, especially if you are not willing to adopt out of state or if you aren't doing any networking.
Self Advertising/Networking: Can help you adopt more quickly. It can also potentially be very expensive in the long run. We know self advertising/networking can be very beneficial, just not for us (yet)! If I added up all the money we spent trying to find our little boy on our own I'm sure it would be in the thousands of dollars with no adoption resulting from our efforts. I'm posting about this to hopefully help you avoid a major pitfall. We were so sure our baby would come from our efforts in this area and we were wrong (ok with it, sure, but wrong all the same). There are multiple websites you can list your profile for a monthly fee. You will definitely hear from expectant parents, but unfortunately you will get scam emails too. Learn how to protect yourself and especially your heart. Some people scam for money and other scam for attention. Know the risks so you don't get hurt. You should also be willing to screen the expectant parents yourself. If you're not willing to do that, then this may not be a good option for you.
Private Adoption thru an Attorney: This can be less expensive than adopting thru an agency. It can also cost more depending on the adoption. Each adoption is unique. Some adoptions have medical expenses, birthparent living expenses, unknown birthfathers and other factors that cause the adoption to cost a lot more money. You can contact attorneys in your area to see if they help you find a match. Some have a lot of upfront fees. Others have less upfront. Know what you're getting into before you sign anything. If you are looking into private adoption here's a link to a blog post about private family adoption.
Foster Care: Truth be told, I know very little about foster care. Most of the time, it seems, the goal of foster care is to keep children with their biological family. When it is determined by a judge as not in the best interest of the child, then adoption is possible. Some biological families decide on their own to place children into adoptive homes. Many older children and children with special needs are legally available for adoption right now. I suggest you read this blog and check out the heart galleries on your own. You can google "foster care heart galleries." You may be amazed that your children are already waiting for you!
Facilitator/Referral/Resource Center: It is not legal in some states to adopt with the help of a facilitator. However, in California, for example, this may be an option to consider. A facilitator generally does advertising and screening of expectant parents. Some provide other services and some do not. Most will help rematch you if your adoption falls thru. The same cannot be said for self-advertising. They can help match you more quickly and many times on a smaller budget. Again, do your research and ask people in the adoption forums. I recommend avoiding a facilitator who charges large upfront fees or who seem unethical.
For many, adoption seems impossible. From an LDS perspective I think Satan wants it to seem that way. Adoption can be expensive, but think about this --- You are asking someone to make a huge sacrifice for you to adopt their child...what are you willing to sacrifice to find your children? I have never once regretted that my son's adoption was expensive. Not once.
On the right side bar I've added some links to some facilitators/agencies/others who post available adoption situations. Hopefully, if you're looking for your baby, you'll be able to find each other soon!
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