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Can I share a ray of light?
Because of our situation of not being able to have children I think often about the story of the blind man told in John Chapter 9.
I think there are many people with all types of infirmities, including those who cannot have children, who may think it is somehow their fault.
Some may think the Lord doesn't trust us (infertile people) to have children.
Many well-meaning people advise us that we must prove we are worthy.
But there are no perfect people on the earth. That's why God gave us the atonement of Jesus Christ, His son.
One of my favorite miracles is in John 9: 1-3, 5
"And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.
And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him...As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world." He then anointed the blind man's eyes with clay and told him to wash in the pool of Siloam. He washed and then he began to see!
Jesus wanted to perform this miracle that the Pharisees might believe and overcome their spiritual blindness, but they would not accept the miracle even though they saw it with their own eyes.
I enjoy this story because it teaches me that my circumstances are just that, circumstances.
It teaches me to be obedient. If the blind man had not done as directed by the Savior, he would have remained blind. It reminds me to keep an eternal perspective despite my trials.
Do I always remember? No.
Do I want to blame myself? Sometimes.
Sometimes I feel like I am the blind man.
But then I remember I need to be humble.
D&C 112:10:
"Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers."
What does it mean to be humble?
It means to listen to the spirit.
The Lord doesn't need to trust us because He already knows our hearts.
We need to trust HIM.
Will He take away our pain and suffering?
Not always. But He will help us bear it if we let Him.
I love reading your blog. I loved this post, it was just what I needed to hear. We are in the process of adoption and it's comforting to know that we are not alone in our frustrations :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jessica!
Thanks for reminding me. You are awesome.
ReplyDeleteI linked you from Jennies blog. I really love this post. When we were getting frustrated with fertility treatments and started looking into adoption my well meaning sister-in-law told me that adopting showed my lack of faith. She told me all I needed to do was double my fast offerings :) Thank you!!!!
ReplyDeleteJessica & Ron, I got to your blog from 3 blogs over (seriously), and I do not know you but feel compelled to leave a message. My husband & I struggled through infertility, all the "treatments" and even had a round of IVF with no success. We adopted our newborn son when we were both 31. And your post reminds me so vividly of all the nutty things people said to me, even the well-meaning ones (I remember one "friend" who referred to me, in a public place, as "barren" - good grief!!!).
ReplyDeleteNow, 7 years later, we are the proud parents of 1 boy and 2 girls. Both our girls were conceived naturally and in fact I was so un-expecting to be pregnant that I was almost past my first trimester before I realized. The doctors had no medical explanation except "these things happen." All 3 of our kids are the 3 most perfect kids for us, and clearly intended for us and to be our family. We love them dearly, as you will love yours.
I have no idea what the plan is for your family, or what your family will look like 7 years from now. But I am 100% certain that there is a plan, you WILL have that family if you can believe in the plan even when it seems so distant, and it will all turn out about a million times even more wonderful than you dream of! Hang in there! I firmly believe that all of us who struggle to have children are better parents because of the struggle. We never take our children for granted, not even for one second. All the best to you - Angela
This post is perfection. So true. I think if we ever blame ourselves it's because we want to have some kind of control over the situation. But think of what a perfect world we'd live in if all we had to do was "be good" and all our heart's desires would be granted? Not a good arena for teaching us in, eh?
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of one dark night I had a few months back. For some odd reason I was inspired to open up the Joseph Smith manual, and I can't recall which lesson it was...20 maybe? I dunno, it was on prayer. And I realized then and there that I could call upon him for anything that I needed. Your post just reminded me of this. He knows what we desire, what we want more than anything...he is just waiting for us to come to him and ask. I love you guys. I think about you almost every single day. Sometimes more than once...I pray for you often...and I am searching and looking for your family! Hugs and much love.
ReplyDelete