My ZJ - Diary of A Toddler

Do NOT leave him unattended in my room or he'll get in my make-up drawer.

(See mascara picture above.)

Or he'll eat all my gum.

Or he'll dump the entire contents of daddy's nightstand on the floor.

And he'll find the sun screen or lotion or any liquid and rub it all over our clothes or bed or carpet or whatever...

Do NOT leave him unattended in the bathroom or he'll dump buckets worth of water on the floor.

Or poop or pee on the floor.

Then he'll try to clean it up with bits of toilet paper.

Lots of bits.

Or the whole roll.

Or he'll put the whole roll in the toilet.

And then the trash.

Then he'll flush the toilet and it will overflow onto the floor...

Do NOT leave him unattended while he's washing his hands or he'll rub soap over his entire CLOTHED body.

Or dump an entire thing of shampoo on the carpet.

Or he'll just let the water run down the drain FOREVER...because it's just that interesting.

Do NOT leave him unattended with Lexi or he'll cover her with blankets so she'll cry.

Or knock her down so she'll cry.

Or put his mattress on top of her and jump on it/her so she'll cry.

Do NOT leave him unattended in Lexi's room or he'll get baby powder everywhere.

Or baby butt sauce.

Or baby lotion.

Or baby diapers.

Or dump the entire contents of her six drawer dresser of clothes on the floor and swim in it like Scrooge McDuck swims in his money.

Do NOT leave him unattended in his own room or he'll pee in the vent.

Do NOT leave him unattended in the kitchen or he'll climb on the bar and dump the sugar jar everywhere.

Or he'll squeeze his little toddler hand between the drawer lock and steal a knife out of the drawer. Or scissors. And he'll cut himself accidentally.

Do NOT leave him unattended with crayons or he'll eat them.

Same with glue.

Or chalk.

Or marker.

Or pretty much anything because it will end up in his mouth or all over his body.....

Do NOT leave him unattended in the fenced backyard or he will pick all of the un-ripe apricots and apples.

Or dump rocks all over the lawn.

Or feed rocks to the neighbor's dog (sorry).

Or escape and walk to one of the neighbor's houses.

In fact, my best advice: do not leave ZJ unattended!

Now least you think we never watch him and this list is exclusive to our kid, well you've never had a toddler.

(Please let me know when you want to babysit - hee hee  :)