You've been warned - This post is a rant.
If you aren't ok with that then please stop reading!
If you enjoy a good vent session then here we go:
I am annoyed.
Seriously.
I expect to be asked how our adoption is going.
That's a fair question even if my answer is "Well it's only been three weeks since we were approved."
It's true, it feels like it's been longer.
It's true, it feels like it's been longer.
Much longer!!!
So even though I don't always like being asked; I do expect it.
We're public about wanting to adopt because we need help adopting.
Many people adopt thru a friend of a friend of a friend.
Friends and family are excited for us and want to know what's going on...
I get that.
Friends and family are excited for us and want to know what's going on...
I get that.
The question that's really getting on my nerves is all about gender.
"Are you trying to adopt a girl or a boy?"
It seems like a simple, innocent question, but to me it's not so simple.
Just because we can't have children doesn't mean we're ordering them from a catalogue!
We're not going to the pet store to pick out a puppy!
When we first decided to adopt, we just wanted to be parents.
This time we just want to find the rest of our family.
WHY OH WHY does everyone want to know if we're specifically looking for a boy or a girl?
It oozes entitlement.
It honestly blows my mind.
Let me clarify, too. The question has not been whether we'd like another boy or if we'd like a girl this time. That's the question you get if you're pregnant.
It honestly blows my mind.
Let me clarify, too. The question has not been whether we'd like another boy or if we'd like a girl this time. That's the question you get if you're pregnant.
NO, the question is whether we're choosing.
Adoption is not easy.
There are many choices.
Just because we have that choice, DOES NOT make it right.
Just because other people have MADE that choice, DOES NOT make it right.
Do I hate everyone who's asked me?
That's ridiculous (and I don't remember who has anyway).
Do I hate people who have chosen to adopt only a girl or only a boy?
Of course not.
Do I think they are horrible people?
No.
That's why we all live here on earth. To make choices.
To use our agency.
But my answer to whether we're adopting a girl or a boy this time:
"Yes! A boy or a girl would be amazing!"
There are many choices.
Just because we have that choice, DOES NOT make it right.
Just because other people have MADE that choice, DOES NOT make it right.
Do I hate everyone who's asked me?
That's ridiculous (and I don't remember who has anyway).
Do I hate people who have chosen to adopt only a girl or only a boy?
Of course not.
Do I think they are horrible people?
No.
That's why we all live here on earth. To make choices.
To use our agency.
But my answer to whether we're adopting a girl or a boy this time:
"Yes! A boy or a girl would be amazing!"
Agreed! 100%
ReplyDeleteI love adoption.
I love uneducated adoption questions too.
And I love educated adoption answers.
Hope all is well with you three! I swear it's been forever. Oh... it has. We need to remedy that.
love you guys!
ReplyDeleteI hear what your saying. Of course we are getting the same thing, my answer is, well whichever you help us find we'll take.
ReplyDeleteSo, will you be adopting another boy or will it be a girl? haha... just kidding!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. (How did I miss seeing this post until now? LOL) It really does feel like they could be asking you about ordering something from a catalog. I also despised the round-about ways (and not-so round-about ways) people would ask about the race of the baby. Ugh. People. :p
ReplyDelete